“The ‘wounded child’ within each of us contains the damaged or stunted emotional patterns of our youth, patterns of painful memories, of negative attitudes, and of dysfunctional self-images. Unknowingly, we may continue to operate within these patterns as adults, albeit in a new form.
Fear of abandonment, for example, becomes jealousy. Sexual abuse becomes dysfunctional sexuality, often causing a repetition of the same violations with our own children.
A child’s negative self-image can later become the source of dysfunctions such as anorexia, obesity, alcoholism, and other addictions as well as obsessive fear of failure. These patterns can damage our emotional relationships, our personal and professional lives, and our health.
Loving oneself begins with confronting this archetypal force within the psyche and unseating the wounded child’s authority over us. If unhealed, wounds keep us living in the past.
To discover and love ourselves is the essential key to finding the happiness that we are convinced lies outside of ourselves but that spiritual texts remind us is only found within. Too many people are frightened of knowing themselves, convinced that self-knowledge would mean living alone, without their current friends and partners. While the short-term effect of self-knowledge may well cause changes, its long-term developments — fueled by consciousness, not fear– will be more fulfilling.
We begin the formidable task of getting to know ourselves by discovering our emotional nature — not in relation to anyone or anything, but in relation to ourselves alone. This is the only way to empower your heart.
With or without anyone else playing a primary role, a person needs to know: What do I like? What do I love? What makes me happy? What do I need for balance? What are my strengths? Can I rely upon myself? What are my weaknesses? Why do I do the things I do? What makes me need the attention and approval of others? Am I strong enough to be close to another person and still honor my own emotional needs?
The path to the empowered heart will demand great effort. As you identify your wounds, have someone ‘witness’ them and their influence upon your development. Identify the good that can and has come from your wounds. Take on the challenge of forgiveness. Finally, live in love, appreciation and gratitude. In the language of Jesus, ‘Leave the dead and get on with your life.’ And as Buddha taught, ‘There is only now.’
By discovering who you are, you will discover what your heart needs. The only path toward spiritual consciousness is through the heart. That truth is not negotiable, no matter what spiritual tradition one chooses as a means to know the Divine. Love is Divine Power. ”
Anatomy Of The Spirit – The Seven Stages of Power and Healing, Carolyn Myss, PhD., p. 202- 217.
