“I was four years old and playing with my dolls when it happened. My Grandma was doing laundry and singing to herself when I had the sudden realization, that everything was perfect, exactly as it should be, because I was here. At the same time, I understood that if I had never been born, everything would be just as perfect, but in a whole different way. Not exactly a normal epiphany for a child, or even most adults, but I understood it completely, and felt its truth in my very core. I thought, Oh good, everything is perfect, I can go now.
Having nowhere I should go and using all the options available to a four-year=old, I put a dress on my dog, packed my doll in a play suitcase, and headed for the park. This was a very small town in 1976, and the park was only two blocks away. It really wasn’t that daring of an adventure. Besides, where else would I go?
When I got to the park, I sat on a bench and wondered what now? A blinding white light and several ‘beings’ immediately surrounded me. I assumed this was God, even though it seemed odd that God would appear as multiple and androgynous … but I supposed God could appear any way He chose. That’s the prerogative of being omnipotent.
The communication that followed was a mixture of visions and meaning conveyed without a medium, like just knowing something without hearing or seeing it.
The basic message was this: Would you be willing to help us out? Your life wouldn’t be as ‘fun’ as a normal human life, but it would mean a lot to us?
Sort of take one for the team. I agreed and asked what to do. They replied just keep your heart open. Then I experienced the crucifixion, the weight and pain of that life of service, emotional weight, and spiritual weight. Then I felt the release from the body, and the incredible contrast of freedom and love as my spirit soared. Then it was over. Just like that. I was just sitting in the park.
It was years before I even told my Mom about the experience because I thought everyone got a mission. In my mind, you learned to walk, then you learned to read, then you got your mission from God, then you started Kindergarten. I was four. Made sense to me. I was eight or nine when I started to realize not everyone was aware of having a mission. So I told my Mom about this experience and asked her if it was normal. Apparently not.
Almost forty years later, I still remember it like it was yesterday, but my interpretations have changed a bit. Instead of God, I think it was my guides contacting me. Instead of asking me to take on this mission, I think they were reminding me why I came. It has been the defining moment of my entire life, and my understanding of it expands and evolves all the time. But I do think the directive is exactly as they stated: Just keep your heart open.”
Waking Up Indigo: Personal Stories and Practical Guidance on Spiritual Awakening (A Life’s Journey), Natha Jay, p. 1-3.
