“Now if you are feeling angry with someone and you start expressing your anger, the other person is not going to be a Buddha and sit silently. He is not a marble statue; he will also do something. You will express anger, he will express anger. It will create more anger in both of you.
So the moment you feel any negative emotion about anybody, that other person is not the question. The question is that you have a certain energy of anger. Now, that energy has to be diffused into the universe. You are not to repress it within yourself.
So whenever I say, ‘Express,’ I always mean privately, in your aloneness. It is a meditation, it is not a fight. If you are feeling sad, sit in your room and feel as much sad as you can – it can’t harm you. Be really sad and see how long it stays. Nothing stays forever; soon it will be passing away. If you feel like crying, cry
– but in your privacy. Once and for all understand that every problem is yours, so it has to be solved in your privacy.
Don’t wash your dirty linen in public places. There is no need. Why unnecessarily involve other people? Why unnecessarily create an image of yourself as ugly?
These things have nothing to do with others. Everything is your problem; why make it public? And that way, it is not going to be helped but on the contrary, it will be increased. Just keep your private problems to yourself. No group therapy is of much help, because whatever you do in the group you cannot do in society. And the group cannot become your whole life; out of the group, you will again be in the same trouble.
If you want to do something in public, you can go to the person you were angry with and tell him, ‘I have been, in private, angry with you. I shouted at you, I abused you, I said ugly things to you; please forgive me. But it was all done in privacy because it was my problem; it has nothing to do with you. But in a certain way, it was directed at you, and you are not aware of it; hence an apology is needed.’
This has to be done in public with the person. That will help people to help each other. And that person will not be angry; he will say, ‘There is no need for an apology. You have not done anything to me. And if you are feeling clean, it was a good exercise.’
But in public don’t bring your negativities, your ugliness; otherwise, you are creating bigger problems in trying to solve small problems. Be really very careful. Everything negative has to be in private, in your aloneness.
And if you want to make any public statement about it – because somebody may have been in your mind with whom you were hateful, – go to him and humbly ask for his forgiveness.
What I am giving to you is a simple method that you can do yourself very easily. When anger disappears without any struggle, it leaves behind it a tremendously beautiful and silent, and loving state. Clean your unconscious and come into the outside world with other people – with a softer face, cleaner eyes, and more human acts.”
Osho, The Transmission of the Lamp, Talk #10
