“1. Release the pain of the past.To overcome your victim mentality, you must release the pain of all those past experiences, buried deep inside. You need to release negative feelings – fear, guilt, hate, anger, self-pity – because they keep you in captivity and reassert your identity as a victim. Forgive those who have hurt you. As I have written elsewhere, forgiveness does not mean justifying the actions of others. It is a purely internal act of letting go of painful feelings. Only when you forgive will you be free.
2. Take responsibility for your life.
The main thing you need to do to regain power is to take responsibility for your life – for the feelings, thoughts, and reactions you choose to experience. Realize that the complaining, unhappiness, and blaming does not solve your problems. Think about what you personally can do and take action.
3. Remember that you always have a choice
We can always, in every situation, choose how to react. At any moment we can regain power by making the right choice.
4. Change your vocabulary.Change the words in your vocabulary that make you feel like a victim. For example, instead of ‘should,’ think ‘choose to;’ instead of ‘I hope,’ say ‘I will;’ instead of ‘There’s no way out,’ think ‘I know there’s a way and I will find it;’ instead of ‘I can’t’ say ‘I will try.’
5. Learn to say ‘no.’
People who have a victim mentality, often have difficulty saying ‘no.’
6. Change your attitude.
Change the focus – from what you don’t have or what makes you feel wronged – to what you do have and your strengths. Keep a notebook, listing everything good in your life, and practice being grateful about it.
7. Taking small steps outside of your comfort zone.
Begin with just one small step outside your comfort zone, and you will begin to change from a victim into a confident and self-respecting person.”
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