“Non-violent communication guides us in how we express ourselves and hear others. Instead of habitual, automatic reactions, our words become conscious responses based firmly on awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting. We are led to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while simultaneously paying others respectful and empathetic attention. In any exchange, we come to hear our own deeper needs and those of others.
Non-violent communication trains us to observe carefully and to be able to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us.
We learn to identify and clearly articulate what we are concretely wanting in any given situation. The form is simple but powerfully transformative.
As non-violent communication replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism, we come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light.
Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized. When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion. Through its emphasis on deep listening — to ourselves as well as to others — non-violent communication fosters respect, attentiveness, and empathy and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.”
Non-Violent Communication – A Language of Life, Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D., p. 3-4.
