Did you know that the classic painter of pleasant Americana scenes, Norman Rockwell, felt chronically depressed while doing so? His biographer wrote that he was in formal therapy for depression for most of his adult life. Part of his treatment was to paint happy paintings!
“Last year, researchers at the University of California asked people to behave in either extroverted or introverted ways for one week. Those who purposely acted extroverted — which decades of research have shown is one of the most common characteristics of happy people — saw a significant increase in well-being. (Meanwhile, acting introverted led to a decrease.)
Similarly, spending money on others and volunteering have been shown to raise one’s own happiness levels. Research shows that you can bring joy to others even if you’re unhappy and doing so is a reliable way to improve your own well-being.
One plausible explanation is that prosocial behaviors induce a cognitive dissonance — I feel unhappy, but I am acting happy! — which people resolve subconsciously by feeling happier.
Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire in the UK, calls this the As If Principle: If you want to feel a certain way, act as if you already do, and your brain will grant you that feeling, at least for a while. In common parlance, Fake it till you make it.
First, ask what happy people in your situation would do to make things better for themselves and others. How would they greet others on the first call of the day? What little things do happy people do for their acquaintances and loved ones?
Next, make a plan to follow through on everything you might imagine a happy person doing. Write three ideas for extra-kind greetings on a Post-It note and stick it below your computer screen before that Zoom or phone call. Draft a sample e-mail in the voice of a happy person and use it as a template.
By deliberately preparing yourself to cheer up the people around you the way a happy person spontaneously would, you’ll create the conditions by which you can produce your own happiness naturally — and give the gift of happiness to others as well.”
Readers Digest, “How To Feel Happy, Even When You’re Not,” Arthur C. Brooks, The Atlantic (March 4, 2021) copyright The Atlantic Media Co.
