“I was surprised to discover that the image I had of my father did not disappear. If anything, he became more real, more complete. I still saw a father who had disappointed and injured me. But I also saw a man with strength and goodness in him. My new image, I felt certain, was much closer to reality.
But even though I had worked through my ‘father issues,’ the process still felt incomplete somehow. The bubble of idealization has burst. But I didn’t feel settled. There was one more step needed to complete the process. I needed to forgive my father.
Forgiveness, I have learned, is the key to resolving the pain of the past and breaking generational patterns. Without it, nothing is ever laid to rest. The past still operates in the present.”
Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: The Definitive Guide, Dr. David Stoop, P.12.
