How to Develop an Evolutionary Relationship

“It is critical to remember that this crisis we are facing is a crisis in which the sacred powers of love in the human soul are being diverted by distraction, by greed, by ignorance, by the pursuit of power, so that they never irrigate the world and transform it. What is needed is a vision of evolutionary relationship as a relationship that helps us come into the real, take responsibility for it, and enact our sacred purpose with a partner, and for the world: when two lovers come together in this dynamic love consciousness, they create a transformative field of sacred energy, from which both can feed to inspire their work in reality.

There are seven requirements necessary, I believe, for this tremendously potent vision of evolutionary love to emerge in the world.

Devotion to the Divine

The first requirement is that both beings need to be plunged individually into a deep and passionate devotion of the Beloved, by whatever name they know the Beloved, because without both beings centering their life in God, the relationship will never be able to escape the private circle. From the very beginning it must be centered in the Divine. It must be a relationship that is undertaken in the conscious presence of the Divine for the Divine’s great work in the Universe. Only a relationship that is centered in this higher power, and that has the Divine as the prime actor in the relationship, will be able to bear the vicissitudes of authentic love, of dealing with the challenges of life and service in the world.

Master of Solitude    

The second requirement for an evolutionary love is that both beings must develop a mastery of solitude. In his Letters to a Young Poet, Rilke wrote, “Authentic love is where two solitudes border, protect, and salute each other. ”

They ‘border’ each other, they don’t infiltrate each other’s domain. They ‘protect’ because they realize that the solitude that each one has is the source of inner wealth and inner revelation; they ‘salute’ because they understand that the work of solitude, the work that goes into solitude, the heart work, the yearning, the longing, the deep contemplation of one’s gifts and one’s faults, is a sacred work that is the secret foundation of healthy relationship. In too many relationships in our current narcissistic model, what threatens the person most is the solitude of the other. In a true evolutionary relationship, what can exhilarate one person the most is the other’s solitude, because they know that solitude has the potential to make them a billionaire of generosity, of insight, and of creativity.

Equality of Power

The third requirement is that in a true evolutionary relationship there is an equality of power, and that equality is born out of a profound experience of the sacredness and dignity of the other person’s soul. This new relationship that is trying to be given to us by the Mother is what I call the beloved-beloved relationship. One person isn’t the beloved and the other only the lover. Both partners recognize in each other the unique face that the Divine is turning to them in order to bring them the essence of divine truth, which is embodied love. From that recognition of each other as the Beloved flows a natural movement of passionate honoring and service of the other’s life. This gives each person the freedom and the energy and the joy that they need to go out into the world and fulfill their destiny. This is crucial because in the past there has been a vision of inequality of power. Now what’s emerging is the mutual recognition of holiness and sacredness expressed in tantric rapture, in an adoration and worship of the other in the core of life.

A Sacred Enterprise

The fourth requirement follows on from the third: if you are going to have a beloved-beloved relationship, you have to center your whole being and work and evolution in God. You have to be a master of your own solitude so that you can work on what is necessary to deepen that sacred relationship of the Divine. You must also bring the sacred practice of prayer and meditation into the very core of your life, so that the whole relationship can be enfolded in a mutually shared sacred enterprise.

Acceptance of the Shadow

The fifth requirement is that both lovers completely abandon any Hollywood sentimentality about what relationships actually are. As love becomes more evolutionary and conscious, so does each lover’s understanding of each other’s shadow. One of the essential roles of this new love is to make each person in the relationship the safe-guarder of the other’s shadow—not the judge of the other’s shadow, not the denier of the other’s shadow, but someone who recognizes where the other has been wounded, and safeguards and protects them with unconditional compassion without allowing themselves to be mauled or manipulated by the other. This takes an immense effort, because it takes an immense effort to understand your own shadow, and an even greater effort to face and comprehend, without illusion, denial or repulsion, the shadow of the other.

Death and Rebirth

The sixth requirement is that if you are going to enter into the evolutionary process, you have to accept that it never ends, never stops unfolding. Evolution is fundamentally a death/rebirth cycle that repeats itself in higher and higher dimensions, and any authentic evolutionary relationship must have the courage to go through the deaths that engender the rebirths.

Marion Woodman, the great Jungian analyst and pioneer of the sacred feminine, said to me, “I have had four marriages with my husband, and at the end of each marriage there was a crisis that we had to make the commitment to go through, a projection that had to die. But we stuck at it and we went through it, and the love that we know now in our eighties is the greatest and deepest love we have experienced.”


A Collective Consciousness

The seventh principle requirement is that from the very beginning of this adventure into evolutionary love you must make the commitment for it not to be just a personal orgy, a cultivation of an oasis of private pleasure. You must engage consciously in this relationship to make you stronger, to serve the planet, to recognize that it is a relationship not only grounded in the Divine, not only infused by sacred practice, but it is from the very beginning dedicated to making both people more powerful, more reflective, more passionately engaged with the only serious truth of our time: The world is dying, and we need a major revolution of the heart to empower everyone to step forward and start doing the work of reconstruction and re-creation that is now desperately needed.”

http://upliftconnect.com

Being of Service Always Serves You ∞The Creators

“We do appreciate all that you do, and we offer you suggestions because we want you to have a more joyous life so that you can spread more joy. It is our desire for you that you give what it is you are strong in, what you consider yourself to be an expert in, to whomever is requesting your help and guidance, your support.

You are angels who have come to be of service to one another and it is the fastest way to living the life you have always dreamed of. We want you to know that this is for your highest good. You do not need to save or rescue anyone. You are your own saviors, and that is why we ask you to embody that role.

It is impossible for you to assist another without assisting yourself. You have this idea that the others are somehow separate from you and that if you give something to them then they must give something to you return, because you do not see the gift you give yourself by being of service. And you cannot see the ripple effect. Let us assure you that everything comes back to in some form, in some way. You will receive what it is you need when you give freely of what it is you have.

Take this offering as our gift to you, for it is our desire to be the best possible version of ourselves that we can be. And we know that this is your desire as well. We know who you are, and we give you exactly what you are ready for. This is the time. You are ready to awaken to your true Selves, your loving, giving, caring, infinite Selves.

Begin with a kind gesture. A wave or a smile, a hello or a thank you, and see how that feels. Then, you will feel inspired to do something else. Let yourself go with that notion, that idea, and see where it takes you. And before long, you will all be living and giving the best of who you are.”

danielscranton.com

Are You In An Ego Based Or Soul Based Relationship?

“Direct the course of love. For love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.”   

~ Gibran Kahlil Gibran

“Are you currently living in an ego based or soul based relationship?  The chart below will help you determine to what degree you are currently operating from a soul based perspective or are coming from Ego. Take a moment to read through each section and notice on which side you tend to fall.  Be honest with yourself in this test, so that you know if your response is truly coming from ego or one from the heart and soul.  You may want to take notes as to which sections you tend to lean towards and operate from in order to make the shift into a full soul based connection.

 

Ego Based Soul Based
Focused on what you are not getting.
Focused on what you are receiving from your partner.
Feeling desperate, lacking love or needy for love. Feel completely loved no matter what your partner says or does.
Seeking approval from your mate. You approve of yourself and that is enough.
Deep sense of insecurity. Feel whole and secure because you love yourself.
Jealous of your mate spending time with others. Encourage your mate to spend time with others.
Critical of yourself and your mate. You are able to see the beauty and Divine in yourself and your partner.
You are blaming your partner for something that happened in the past, or could happen in the future. You are focused on the beauty of relating to your partner in the “now”.
Long list of expectations that must be met for you to feel okay. Clearly setting your desired outcomes in the relationship and letting go of any attachment to them occurring.

 

“You have to remember that freedom is the highest value,
and if love is not giving you freedom then it is not love.” ~Osho
The biggest difference between a soul based and ego based relationship is your ability to surrender and let go. When you are relating to your partner on a soul level, you deeply realize that everything that happens is perfect in its own way. You start to recognize the beauty of what happens in your relationship even if it is different from your original expectations. When you surrender completely to what is, you allow the real beauty of the relationship to blossom and fragrance to be enjoyed. You experience many spontaneous moments of love and laughter that happen all on their own accord.
In a soul based relationship there is a deep sense of freedom that permeates each moment. Both you and your mate are completely free to be however you wish, and can express your true selves since the ego is no longer calling the shots.  In this freedom you have the choice to be with whomever you choose, and yet find yourself constantly drawn to spend quality time with your mate because they bring you deeper and higher into your heart than anyone. In this freedom you never choose to come down on your mate for any reason whatsoever, but rather decide to use words and a tone that lifts them up because you simply want to see them shine brighter than ever before.
One of the most amazing things about living in a soul based relationship is that your focus naturally flows to loving what is instead of changing what is. It is really that simple. The soul knows and sees the perfection of whatever occurs, and thus it becomes easy to unconditionally love your mate just as they are.  Acceptance feels better than criticism for you, so you surround them with appreciation even though a small part of you would like to help or “fix” them.  Soul based relationships operate only out of love, and trying to meet certain ego conditions is not authentic unconditional love. True love is so expansive and all-encompassing that no conditions need to be fulfilled.

Continue reading Are You In An Ego Based Or Soul Based Relationship?

10 Signs The Two Of You Are Meant To Be Together

 “Love is love, and it is one of the most powerful and empowering feelings in the world. It makes us go the extra mile for the person we love, and it brings forth a contentment that grounds us to what matters most. This profound feeling is something that binds us to each other in ways nothing else can.

Once you are in love, the worries are bound to come along too. Are you two people meant to be? Will this relationship survive the test of time? Does this bring more trouble than what it’s worth? The questions never seem to stop swirling, and rightly so.

If you have been wondering about these things, let us put your mind at ease. If you wish to know whether you and your partner are meant to be together, if your love will survive, look out for the following signs in your relationship:

1. Your love is meant to be if both of your secrets are safe with each other

You and your partner feel secure while sharing your secrets with each other. This is because of the bond of trust you have formed between you both. You both trust each other more than anyone in the world and that is a strong foundation for a long and healthy relationship.

2. Your love is meant to be if both of you don’t wish to change each other

There is mutual love and respect for each other’s personality. Both of you love each other for what you are and not for what you might become. Even if there are some behavioral aspects you both might not like in each other, you still love each other instead of constantly prodding to change it.

 3. Your love is meant to be if you both feel comfortable being your natural self around each other

There is no pretense when you both are around each other. You know each other inside out and thus don’t feel the need to be overtly guarded. You can be yourself and be confident that your partner accepts and loves you the way you are.

4. Your love is meant to be if even your silences are meaningful

Constant speech is not necessary for you both. You are equally happy and peacefully together even without saying a single word. Enjoying each other’s company in silence is as satisfying as a heart to heart talk.

5. Your love is meant to be if there is no jealousy of each other’s friends of the opposite gender

The trust you both have stands tall through every situation. There is no jealousy when your partner wishes to hang out with their friends of the opposite sex. Both of you willingly give each other a healthy space for growth.

6. Your love is meant to be if you both give sufficient space to each other

A healthy relationship is nurtured only when each individual is given his or hers space to grow. Your love will stand the test of time if none of you are possessive to the extent of getting controlling.

7. Your love is meant to be if your families know both of you well

The introductions have been done and you feel accepted by your partner’s family. This is an important milestone, as introducing family into the equation strengthens the fact that you both are serious about each other.

8. Your love is meant to be if disagreements are expressed and understood between you

There is mutual respect for each other’s opinions even if you might not agree with it. Disagreements are natural and you treat it so, and you are not scared to express it since you know your partner will understand your point of view too.

9. Your love is meant to be if you both can envision a future together

Your plans for your future naturally includes your partner in them now. This has happened as a natural progression to your relationship. You both can’t imagine a future without each other.

10. Your love is meant to be if no fight or disagreement has ever been able to tear you apart

Arguments and disagreements are a part and parcel of every relationship. Both of you have never let it overpower your love and let it drive a wedge between you. You have your own way of dealing with it with an understanding that sorts the issue without any bitterness.

These are just a few of the things that stand as an indication for a happy and long relationship. You can look out for indications which are personally important for you and mark your relationship as strong and worth the effort. After all, love is not a singular idea, it is an amalgamation of different little ones.”

Focus Ahead to Your Answered Prayers

“You are not always aware that your desires have been answered because there is often a time gap between your asking and your allowing.

Even though a clear desire has emanated as a result of the contrast you have considered, you often, rather than giving your attention purely to the desire itself, focus back on the contrasting situation that gave birth to the desire — and in doing so, your vibration is more about the reason you have launched the desire than about the desire itself.”
Abraham-Hicks, Ask and it is Given

How To Create

The Creative Process is conceptually a simple one.  It consists of just three steps:

Step 1 (your work): You ask.

Step 2 (not your work): The answer is given.

Step 3 (your work): The answer, which has been given, must be received or allowed
                                       (you have to let it in).
Abraham-Hicks, Ask and It is Given

Believe This

“Start telling a better-feeling story about the things that are important to you. Do not write your story like a factual documentary, weighing all the pros and cons of your experience, but instead tell the uplifting, fanciful, magical story of the wonder of your own life and watch what happens. It will feel like magic as your life begins to transform right before your eyes, but it is not by magic. It is by the power of the Laws of the Universe and your deliberate alignment with those Laws.”

Abraham-Hicks, Excerpted from Money and the Law of Attraction on 8/31/08