“Complaining as well as faultfinding and reactivity strengthen the ego’s sense of boundary and separateness on which its survival depends. But they also strengthen the ego in another way by giving it a feeling of superiority on which it thrives.
When you complain, by implication you are right and the person or situation you complain about or react against is wrong.
There is nothing that strengthens the ego more than being right. Being right is identification with a mental position — a perspective, an opinion, a judgment, a story. For you to be right, of course, you need someone else to be wrong, and so the ego loves to be made wrong in order to be right.
In other words: You need to make others wrong in order to get a stronger sense of who you are.
Not only a person but also a situation can be made wrong through complaining and reactivity, which always implies that ‘this should not be happening.’ Being right places you in a position of imagined moral superiority in relation to the person or situation that is being judged and found wanting. It is that sense of superiority the ego craves and through which it enhances itself.”
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, Eckhart Tolle, p, 66 – 67.
