Some Men In Relationship

What a real man should bring to the relationship!
A woman’s expectation of wanting a “soul-connected, conscious, man who unconditionally loves and adores her,” is not unrealistic. It’s what a real man should bring to the relationship.
But men, in general, have failed. We haven’t gone within and made the shift from our ego-self to our heart. It’s been about us, and what we can get without really giving up our self-centeredness. We haven’t done the inner work. We’ve been more concerned about what pleases our eye than what satisfies our soul.
And we certainly haven’t treated women as our softer equal. We’ve been too busy pretending that we have all the answers to realize that women have a far greater understanding of love and life than we’ll ever have.
For a man to evolve and become all he is meant to be, he must love a woman with all of his being. But not just any woman – only the one who calls to the deepest recesses of his soul. There, in the merging of the two, she awakens his masculinity to receive the beauty of her feminine.
For it is through intimacy with her that he learns to surrender and become vulnerable.
It is by understanding her ways that he comes to know the mystery of his own heart. It is by sharing love with her that he discovers how to love the world.
When a man loves a woman, really loves her, he gives unconditionally from the abundance in his own soul – and in the process, unlocks the floodgates to the river of love that pour out to him from within the woman’s heart.
Women deserve so much better. It’s time for a new breed of the masculine to rise up and take a stand. It’s time to show the world what a real, awakened man is. It’s time to return to love.
~ Daniel Nielsen (posted on August 14 2016)

Men And Women Are Unique

“There are so many strong historical facts that prove the beauty, the grandeur, the spirituality, the height of the love of a woman.  Man has failed, but the woman has not failed.

I would like both to become an organic whole, remaining at the same time absolutely free.  Because love never creates bondage, it gives freedom.  Then we can create a better world.  Half of the world has been denied its contribution, and that half, the women, had an immense capacity to contribute to the world.  It would have made it a beautiful paradise.

So I don’t ask that they should be equal, that they should wear the same clothes, that they should behave like men, or use vulgar language because the man uses it.

The woman should search into her own soul for her own potential and develop it, and she will have a beautiful future.

Men and women are neither equal nor unequal, they are unique.  And the meeting of two unique beings brings something miraculous into existence.

https://www.osho.com

Eastern Philosophy: Wu-Wei – 5 Min. Video

Wu Wei is a key concept within Daoism – and refers to a serene acceptance of events. It’s a wisdom of letting things happen and going with the flow of life.  Wu Wei is quite literally aligning our actions with nature and not forcing anything and acting when it’s suitable.

Flow State Where Your Actions Become Effortless

“All that is great in life happens; it can’t be done. And all that can be done remains mundane, ordinary, mediocre. ‘Happiness’ and ‘happening’ are derived from the same root, and it is significant. It means that happiness is a happening.

It is not a question of doing it, forcing it, coercing it. It is more a question of becoming available to it, allowing it, being in a let-go. And in the same way love happens. You cannot do love – it happens! And in the same way beauty, in the same way … grace, in the same way … meditation, and in the same way … finally, godliness.

So learn more and more how not to interfere.

The greatest art in life is the art of non-interference. Lao Tzu called it wu wei: action without action, doing something without doing it. And my whole work consists of wu wei.” Osho, The Sacred Yes, Talk #25

“Wu wei is about aligning your actions with nature and the things happening around us. It’s not about giving up on life, being lazy, or waiting for things to go our way. Instead, it’s about developing patience and awareness of the present moment.  The phrase wu wei means that all our actions should flow in harmony with nature and with the things happening around us. Instead of fighting against life events, we should try to flow with them, incorporate them into our lives, and align our actions to meet with them.

HERE ARE A COUPLE OF PRACTICE IDEAS TO GET YOU STARTED WU WEI-ING!

  1. Smell the Roses. First, you need to start by completely unplugging. Leave your laptop at home or on your desk, turn your phone off and leave it in a drawer. It’ll still be there when you get back, I promise. Then go for a walk and pay attention to the sights and sounds going on around you. You might have a bunch of thoughts that keep distracting you or pulling at your attention. That is totally normal. Just refocus your attention on the present moment. The more you do this, the easier it will become to have that ‘present moment awareness.’

  2. Pay attention to a friend who is talking to you. This is both a practice in patience and mindfulness. Instead of thinking of how to change the subject or respond to their comment, try listening to them completely. See if you can understand and repeat their point back to them completely.

  3. Painting, drawing, and coloring are all great ways to practice Wu Wei, especially getting into that natural Flow state where your actions become effortless.”

https://www.mybestself101.org/

Love Everyone And Tell The Truth

“Maharajji said to me ‘Ram Dass, I told you to Love everyone and tell the truth.’

And I looked at those people who I had built up all this righteous indignation and hatred towards, sitting across the courtyard at the temple. And I went over there and I was in this ecstatic state from being with Maharajji and also my ego was in incredible pain, and I took apples and I cut them into little pieces and I know that you can’t feed somebody with anger, or it’s like giving them poison.

And I went up to each person who I had built up resentment to and justifiable, righteous resentment. I mean I am very creative in justifying my reactions, so I had a good reason to be angry with that person. And I stood there, and he didn’t say work it out, which is what we in the West psychologically like to work out our anger so that everyone saves face. He said, ‘Give it up.’ And I looked at the person, and I had to just let it go. And it was so painful!

And when I had let it go and I could look at that person with Love again, I stuck the apple in their mouth. And it took me over an hour and a half to do that for these people. Before I could finally really let go enough to do it.

Because I couldn’t afford it. I couldn’t afford not to forgive. Once you are in the One, nothing builds up so there is no forgiveness. No forgiveness is required, because you don’t forgive a tree and you don’t forgive a river. You know? It’s like lightning strikes your house and you say ‘I forgive you.’ I mean, who are you forgiving?

It’s interesting. You know that story — the Chinese story about the boats and the fog? As the boatman, he hits another boat, and he starts swearing at the other –’You, why didn’t you look where you were going?’

And then the fog lifts for a moment and he sees there is nobody in the other boat. And he feels like a fool.

Well, it’s roughly the same thing. I mean you hold a grudge against your father, as if he’s in there. He isn’t in there. Psychologically you think he is, because you think you are in you, but once you begin to see he’s just a set of phenomena happening. You are busy saying ‘I forgive you. I forgive you.’

To a clock? You know, it’s really nothing different than that. I don’t mean to demean personality. It’s quite interesting. But it is a lawful set of events. ”

– Ram Dass

https://www.ramdass.org

Forgiving The Past

“I was surprised to discover that the image I had of my father did not disappear.  If anything, he became more real, more complete.  I still saw a father who had disappointed and injured me.  But I also saw a man with strength and goodness in him.  My new image, I felt certain, was much closer to reality.

But even though I had worked through my ‘father issues,’ the process still felt incomplete somehow.  The bubble of idealization has burst.  But I didn’t feel settled.  There was one more step needed to complete the process.  I needed to forgive my father.

Forgiveness, I have learned, is the key to resolving the pain of the past and breaking generational patterns.  Without it, nothing is ever laid to rest.  The past still operates in the present.”

Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: The Definitive Guide, Dr. David Stoop, P.12.

We All Carry Around Our Inner Children

“Most adults go through the world looking for the love, validation, and approval they may have never received from their parents.  When the adult doesn’t get what their inner child is looking for, the inner child can take over and the adult can revert to childlike behavior.  This can be anything from temper tantrums (and in an adult, this can be quite scary!) that push the loved one away, to sulking in the corner feeling sorry for themselves, wondering why their loved one has left them again.  It usually turns into a struggle of self-criticism, blame, and anger directed inward.

It’s my fault nobody loves me because I’m unloveable.’  If this resonates with you, the first and best thing you can do is to learn how to accept love, validation, and approval from yourself.  This is very difficult and can take a long time with the use of healing exercises (like journaling, visualization, and subconscious release work – Go to abby-wynne.com/healyourinnerwounds).  It will take time to grow into a new way of being.  You will need to be patient with yourself, just like you would be patient with a toddler.

The Abandoned Child, the Caregiver Child, and the Wounded Child are the most common types of inner children that we all carry around with us in some form or other.  As adults, we meet other adults from different families who come with different conditioning, and different patterning.  I believe the main cause of unhappiness within relationships is the friction created between adults who have subconscious conditions for love but do not get those conditions met by their partner.  Bringing those patterns and conditions into the conscious mind can help smooth relationships a lot, but until we realize that people have their limitations and cannot fill us with what it is we really crave, we will always be fighting with each other.”

Heal Your Inner Wounds: How to Transform Deep Emotional Pain into Freedom & Joy, Abby Wynne, pgs. 14 – 16.