Author: mysticheartsong

“Most adults go through the world looking for the love, validation, and approval they may have never received from their parents.  When the adult doesn’t get what their inner child is looking for, the inner child can take over and the adult can revert to childlike behavior.  This can be anything from temper tantrums (and in an adult, this can be quite scary!) that push the loved one away, to sulking in the corner feeling sorry for themselves, wondering why their loved one has left them again.  It usually turns into a struggle of self-criticism, blame, and anger directed inward.

‘It’s my fault nobody loves me because I’m unloveable.’  If this resonates with you, the first and best thing you can do is to learn how to accept love, validation, and approval from yourself.  This is very difficult and can take a long time with the use of healing exercises (like journaling, visualization, and subconscious release work – Go to abby-wynne.com/healyourinnerwounds).  It will take time to grow into a new way of being.  You will need to be patient with yourself, just like you would be patient with a toddler.

The Abandoned Child, the Caregiver Child, and the Wounded Child are the most common types of inner children that we all carry around with us in some form or other.  As adults, we meet other adults from different families who come with different conditioning, and different patterning.  I believe the main cause of unhappiness within relationships is the friction created between adults who have subconscious conditions for love but do not get those conditions met by their partner.  Bringing those patterns and conditions into the conscious mind can help smooth relationships a lot, but until we realize that people have their limitations and cannot fill us with what it is we really crave, we will always be fighting with each other.”

Emotional intelligence (EI) is a critical skill that helps individuals navigate relationships, manage stress, and lead more balanced lives. Unlike traditional intelligence, EI focuses on understanding and managing emotions — both yours and others. Below, we explore 12 key signs of emotionally intelligent individuals, backed by expert insights.

1. Self Awareness – Emotionally intelligent people have a strong sense of self-awareness.  They recognize their emotions as they arise and understand how these feelings influence their thoughts and actions.  This awareness allows them to acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses without defensiveness. Regular reflection on emotional triggers can help increase your self-awareness.
2. Emotional Self-Control – The ability to manage emotions, especially during stressful situations, is a hallmark of emotional intelligence. People with high EI don’t let frustration or anger cloud their judgment. Instead, they recover quickly from setbacks and stay composed. Emotional self-control fosters trust and stability in both personal and professional relationships.
3. Adaptability – Emotionally intelligent individuals are flexible and open to change. They view challenges as opportunities for growth and can pivot strategies as circumstances evolve. Being adaptable not only means being able to improvise on the current path you’re on, but to be able to acknowledge when the path itself needs to change too.
4. Empathy – Empathy is the ability to connect with others on an emotional level. Those with high EI pay close attention to non-verbal cues and genuinely try to understand others’ perspectives, even if they disagree Empathy builds stronger, more meaningful relationships and enhances teamwork.
5. Positive Outlook – A positive attitude helps emotionally intelligent individuals remain optimistic even in the face of adversity. They focus on solutions rather than problems and inspire those around them. They often frame setbacks as learning experiences, maintaining morale during difficult times. 
6. Balanced Lifestyle – High EI people strive for balance in their lives. They know the importance of self-care and ensure that their physical, emotional, and social needs are met. Incorporate activities like exercise, meditation, and quality time with loved ones to maintain balance.
7. Assertive Communication – Emotionally intelligent individuals communicate assertively without being aggressive. They express their thoughts and feelings openly while respecting others’ boundaries. Assertiveness fosters healthy dialogue, whereas aggression can create conflict and resentment.
8.  Curiosity – A hallmark of emotional intelligence is an insatiable curiosity about the world and people. Emotionally intelligent individuals are eager to learn from others and explore new perspectives. This curiosity keeps them open-minded and adaptable in a rapidly changing world.
9. Conflict Management – Instead of avoiding conflict, emotionally intelligent people address disagreements head-on, aiming for resolutions that benefit all parties. They focus on problem-solving rather than assigning blame. This approach prevents misunderstandings and fosters mutual respect. 
10.  Gratitude – Emotionally intelligent people regularly practice gratitude. They take time to acknowledge the positives in their lives, which keeps them grounded and content. Maintain a gratitude journal to reinforce this habit.
11. Receptiveness to Feedback – People with high EI embrace feedback, viewing it as an opportunity for growth rather than a personal attack. They know how to separate constructive criticism from unhelpful negativity. Seek regular feedback from trusted sources and reflect on it objectively.

12.  Influence – Emotionally intelligent leaders naturally inspire those around them. Their ability to connect, communicate, and guide teams toward common goals sets them apart. Effective leaders harness emotional intelligence to foster collaboration and drive success.

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