“Our self-esteem emerges from contact with others who provide us with ‘the five A’s.’ The five A’s are Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, and Allowing. They are not extras but are the components of the healthy, individuated ego.
Attention from others leads to self-respect. Acceptance engenders a sense of being inherently a good person. Appreciation generates a sense of self-worth. Affection makes us feel loveable. 
Allowing gives us the freedom to pursue our own deepest needs, values, and wishes.
In contrast, when others grant us the five A’s, we feel fulfilled and at ease with ourselves. An adult can unabashedly ask for the ‘A’ he needs if it is not freely offered. He is only asking for what it takes to achieve the commencement of full humanness.
That tender and ever so gingerly ventured bid to be loved is precisely what makes us humans so lovable.”
How To Be An Adult In Relationships – The Five Keys To Mindful Loving, David Richo, p. 27.
