Clif High is an author who writes about health, fitness, and dieting. His work is available on Amazon. Below he explains the seven forms of human love with an emphasis on how men can develop ‘Romantic Love.’
“1. Eros (Romantic Love): Eros is named after the Greek god of love and fertility, representing passion, desire, and physical attraction. It’s often the initial intense attraction that draws two people together, but it can also be fleeting or evolve into deeper forms of love. If Eros does not evolve, it dies.
2. Philia (Friendship Love): This type of love is based on mutual respect, shared experiences, and a genuine liking for each other’s company. It is commonly found among friends who share common values, interests, or activities. Philia is the base layer that binds the social order of families into an interconnected whole.
3. Storge (Familial Love): Storge is the love that exists between family members. It’s characterized by deep affection, a sense of duty, and a commitment to caring for one another. It’s often considered unconditional and persistent, enduring through many life changes. Storge is where sacrifice originates.
4. Agape (Unconditional Love): Agape is selfless love, similar to what some might call spiritual love. It is universal and altruistic, extending beyond personal attachments to encompass care for others regardless of reciprocity. This type of love is often associated with religious or spiritual beliefs about loving others as one’s self and seeking the good of others before one’s own. This association arises as Agape is a natural and expected result of most enlightenment experiences. As Rumi states “Love (Agape) is your bride to everything.”
5. Ludus (Playful Love): Ludus is flirtatious and playful, without the intensity of eros. It’s found in the early stages of a relationship, where teasing, jokes, and light-hearted interactions are common. It’s more about enjoyment and fun than deep emotional commitment. This is the cool and fun interaction between humans as ‘lovers’ that is just so annoying to others who don’t have it in their lives.
6. Pragma (Enduring Love): Pragma is practical love founded on reason or duty and one’s longer-term interests. It’s common in marriages or long-term partnerships where the couple works together to achieve their mutual goals, balancing practical daily life with maintaining affection over time. Pragma is the ‘bonding love’. It is the enduring, supportive Love that moves civilization to great achievement. Every ‘thing’ in your body’s Life experience comes from Pragma.
7. Philautia (Self Love): This type of love relates to self-esteem and self-worth, and it’s about taking care of and being kind to oneself. It’s considered necessary by many philosophers for being able to offer love to others, based on the idea that you cannot give what you do not have. All of YOUR body’s Life experience of Love grows from Philautia. If you can’t stand yourself, how can you expect her to love you?
The search for the experience of Love in this body’s Life is the most challenging aspect of the Life experience in this Matterium. For most men, it is easier to face death in combat than approach a woman who you would make into your Love interest.
So men, to become a successful ‘romantic’ work this list from the bottom up. First find something in yourself to love, that you love about you. Cultivate it, be practical about it, what does it offer to her? Be playful about expressing your self love to her. You are actually attempting to entice her mind to see that quality that you love about yourself. Love others, they have good stuff in them too, even when their lives are so mean, and suffering filled that they can’t even see their own qualities of value. Learn to Love your family, your wellspring, even if they are mostly buttheads. Be her friend. If you can’t be her friend, love her like a companion you want with you through time, then all you have is a sexual attraction which will fade quickly once satiated.
No mean, suffering, self-loathing man ever built anything worth having. Civilization comes only from the Romantic. Get wise to reality. It’s where you will spend this body’s Life.”
https://clifhigh.substack.com/p/what-is-love