“Osho,What happens in and with the relationship between two partners if their egos drop?
‘Then relationship happens. Before that it is just an empty name. Relationship cannot happen before the egos are gone.
You only believe that it is a relationship. It is a conflict, it is enmity, it is jealousy, it is aggression, it is domination, it is possession, and many things – but not relationship. How can you relate with two egos there? When there are two egos, then there are four persons.
In every bed you will find four persons sleeping together. It is very rare to find a double bed, because then four persons are there
overcrowding it. The wife is there and the ego, and the husband is there and the ego – husband is hidden behind his ego, wife is hidden behind her ego, and those two egos go on making love. The real contact never happens.The word relationship is beautiful. The original meaning of the root from which the word to relate comes is exactly the same as to respond. Relationship comes
from that word ‘respond.’ If you have any image of your wife or husband, you cannot respond, and hence relate, to the truth of the person. And we all go on carrying images.
First, we have our image that is our ego – ‘who I am.’ And then we have the image of the other – who she is, or he is. The husband relates not to the woman that is there, he relates to the woman he thinks is there.
So now, four are not there, six there are, and it goes on crowding. Now you are there, that is one thing, your ego is there, that is another thing.
And now you don’t relate to the woman who is there, you relate to the idea of your woman: ‘My wife is such and such, or should be such and such’ and he is also having these things – so six persons. It is really a miracle how people go on managing. It is very complicated. Relationship is not possible, there are too many people in between.
You go on reacting to the image not to the person, and hence there is no relationship. When there is no image, then there is relationship.”
