“Do you know anyone like this? Do these five abusive tactics sound familiar?
- Name-calling. Has anyone called you demeaning names? Evans calls this ‘an invasion of your boundaries,’ maintaining that, ‘No one ever, for any reason, has a right to call you names’ (2010).
- Accusation, shaming, and blaming. Verbal abusers use these tactics to avoid responsibility for their behavior, to make other people feel guilty, insecure, and ‘responsible for [their] feelings’ (Evans, 2010).
- Trivializing your efforts and accomplishments. Verbal abusers are threatened by another’s accomplishments because their self-worth is based on feeling more powerful and remaining dominant (Evans, 2010).
- Inability to accept disagreement. Verbal abusers cannot handle it when you disagree with them because then they no longer feel ‘in control’ (Evans, 2010, p. 171), so they lash out in anger or take punitive action.
- Verbal threats. Verbal abusers threaten people to maintain dominance. In personal relationships, Evans says, they often threaten to leave or ‘say no to you the next time you ask for something,’ undermining their partner’s boundaries and peace of mind (2010).”
psychologytoday.com, “Is There a Verbal Abuser in Your Life?”, Diane E Dreher Ph.D.
