“Complaining is a completely normal part of human behavior. For many of us, it’s a way to vent our frustrations—or even a way to start to see real change in the world (as long as it’s followed by positive actions!).
Inevitably, some of your daily conversations are going to revolve around grievances in your life, or another’s life. Yet, it’s the patterns you want to watch out for so as to not become an over-complainer! Noticing whether you complain too much can help you overcome it, fostering a positive attitude versus a negative one.
Here are a few signs you can look out for to determine if you’re an over-complainer.
1. You see the glass as half-empty and don’t seek out solutions.
The ‘woe-is-me’ attitude can be seriously draining. So much so, that you might actually begin to view the world through a lens where the glass is pretty much always half-full. You don’t see the other side of the equation.
For instance, so what if your appetizer wasn’t up-to-par at the restaurant?
- You caught up with your friends.
- You had great company.
- Your entrée was pretty good!
We don’t need to get stuck on these small ‘blips.’
In truth, you can either amplify them (via complaining) or emphasize the positive. We strongly encourage you to look on
the bright side (it’s oh-so-much better!).
Alternatively, if your complaint is truly a problem (which, let’s be honest, it happens!), then seek out a solution. Be proactive!
2. You dwell on past events and can’t seem to move forward.
Bad stuff happens. Life isn’t easy. In fact, everyone faces various hurdles and challenges throughout their life. Yet, we keep moving. In fact, we have to if we intend on living a fulfilling and satisfying life.
But some of us don’t move beyond past struggles. We get stuck, and we end up in a loop of complaining about them again and again. And all this does is bring you down. If this sounds familiar, you might be complaining too much!
3. You experience frequent anxiety
Again, this comes down to complaining and not having a viable solution (or not seeking a viable solution). When we don’t have solutions forward and dwell on our problems (as complainers do), we might experience ongoing anxiety about the past and future. This frequent ‘worry’ and tense feelings arise from having no clear path.
Since you don’t focus on solutions, the future can seem vaguely hopeless, leaving you to feel as though you’re stuck in your problems forever.
Here’s the thing: You aren’t stuck! Our mind likes to play tricks on us… But you can overcome problems, even if they aren’t within your control.
Something that is within your control is your perspective and how you think about things. This is important to remember!”
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