“First, our ability to feel kindness for others must begin with our ability to feel kindness for ourselves. Our vagus nerve which connects our brain with our heart, our gut, and much of our body–influences our ability to get calm. Calmly hold yourself with tenderness. Send yourself ‘messages of kindness’ which can calm your body and nurture goodwill toward yourself. Create a message for yourself that is clear and true, and speak it to yourself with kindness. We must give ourselves love before we can give it to others.
Second, we are wired to be comforted by loving touch. ‘Soothing touch, in particular, fosters your ability to regulate emotions.’ Simple daily practices include savoring the sensation of a hot bath, the warmth of a cup of tea, petting your animal, or sliding into soft sheets at the end of the day. Cousineau writes: ‘The experience of touch is much more than skin deep: you emotionally tuck yourself in to comfort and use it to purposely recode your caring circuitry.’ Let yourself experience touch in a safe and compassionate way.
Third, letting kindness in means that we open ourselves to others in a way that makes us feel vulnerable. We can practice taking in the good every day, and in doing so, rewire our brains ‘to offset the negativity bias inherent in the base model of our brain.’ We can do this on a daily basis by noticing or creating a beneficial experience–something that is good for us–being present, then noticing any sensations we feel, and finally, savoring and recalling the experience, pulling it up in our memory banks and reliving the good in it.
We can create a mind that is bent toward kindness. As we bring daily focus to simple practices that rewire our brain toward kindness, compassion, and caring, we take ownership of our response to the world. We get to shape the inner contours of our brain, and we can do that in a way that lets us make the choice to understand others, to have faith in humanity’s goodness, and to bring kindness to your interactions rather than criticism.” www.upliftconnect.com
