But life can teach us many different lessons, whether or not we’re single or in a relationship. These are some lessons I learned during my year of intense, happy singleness.
1. It’s okay to spend some time alone.
I’ve seen it before. Heck, I’ve done it before. You get into a relationship and suddenly it’s you plus one … all the freaking time.
Some people pull it off, and it’s fine, but you have to be careful you aren’t letting your new partner drive you nuts by always being around.
If you need to spend some time alone, it’s okay to spend some time alone. Your partner can understand that.
2. You don’t have to compromise your priorities and goals.
If you have goals in life that you want to achieve and certain priorities to meet, just because you’ve found a partner doesn’t mean you suddenly need to compromise those goals.
I’ve always thought that the healthiest relationships involve two people who have room to grow together. It’s unfair to expect one person in the relationship to give up everything for the other.
You should both be able to pursue your dreams.
It can be hard to find privacy when you have a partner, especially when you’re living together.
While some people argue that complete transparency is necessary, like sharing email passwords and having access to each others’ phones, I strongly disagree.
In the relationship I have now, I still have my privacy. No one is looking over my shoulder, asking to see my email, or anything like that. It’s not needed.
We trust one another to make the right choices in this relationship. Your privacy is an important thing to hang onto.
How many times in your life has a good friend of yours gotten into a relationship and they’re just a goner after that? It’s happened to me plenty of times.
I consider it a type of manipulation nine times out of ten, and it’s a sign that your friend might not be in the healthiest relationship. It’s something I avoid like the plague myself.
If I want to go out with friends and my partner doesn’t, then I go out and my partner doesn’t. And the same if I’m not in the mood to go out.
5. Intense arguments aren’t needed to solve your problems.
This is one I’ve never quite understood. I have never once had an intense argument with a partner. Tempers have certainly flared, but nothing like a drag-out brawl between two people. Why? Because it’s not necessary.
Consider it this way: if you had a major disagreement with a coworker, would you pull them into the break room and start yelling? There’s no need for it.
It doesn’t accomplish anything. And that goes for relationships too. If you’re upset, collect yourself before you talk. Know what you want to say.
And don’t let the little things build up into one explosive big thing. Don’t let minor annoyances bubble over into complete disdain.