“The opportunity to live in physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy with another human being is one of life’s greatest gifts. You can damage and bruise this gift by your expectations and demands that the relationship make you happy. Sorry, but no one’s going to make you happy.
The number and strength of your dysfunctional inner child programs and addictive demands are the crucial factors in creating your personal experience of happiness. You don’t suddenly find happiness in a relationship, you take happiness into your relationship.
Here are the ingredients for creating more and more intimacy in your marriage:
1. You are in touch with your emotions and can deal with your addictive demands and ‘injured child’ programming.
2. You can communicate your thoughts, feelings, and desires, and listen to your partner’s.
3. You genuinely appreciate and love yourself.
4. You deeply love and care for your partner.
5. You are committed to making your relationship work.
In the normal course of living together, your relationship will put you in touch with your addictive demands and unfinished inner child resentments.”
The Power Of Unconditional Love, Ken Keyes, Jr., page 59.