Soulmate Love And Authentic, Egoless Relationship

“True love is the conscious choice to put someone else before ourselves in every way. A little further exploration of this idea led me to the notion that true love is actually about the choice to put another person before our ‘self’ — setting aside the needs of the ego for the sake of another.

With that in mind, there are two kinds of love to consider – Ego Love, which is a romantic illusion and all about ‘Me’, and Soulmate Love, which is all about ‘Not-Me’. Ego Love is about the self – the small self — while Soulmate Love is a love that is ‘self’-less.

Ego Love is a reflection of the needs, wants, and desires of the lover, not the beloved. It rests upon the mistaken premise that our fulfillment can be found in another and places the demand on that other that s/he be all the things that we need her to be.  It asks her to be

something that she cannot possibly be – that is, what we want her to be, rather than what or who she actually is. This tack can only lead to disillusionment, disappointment, and ultimately, resentment; the sentiments that, in the end, are the genesis for all those things that will break a relationship.

Soulmate Love, on the other hand, takes ego out of play. There are no demands placed on the other because there are no demands. There are no demands because there are no expectations. There are no expectations because the initial over-arching expectation and demand that this other be someone or something that s/he is not — and cannot possibly be — is never part of the equation.

In addition, the ego is not only taken out of play — it is never actually in play. That is because that moment of blinding clarity is actually a moment akin to satori orsatori or samadhi – it is the moment that we recognize that we are in all things and that all things are in us. It is the moment that we see ourselves reflected in the eyes and heart and soul of another. It is the moment that we recognize our soulmate.

Romantic Love or Ego Love — is about pain, suffering, lack, loss, chaos, conflict, histrionics, and all those things that our poverty mentality holds so dear. Now, think about Soulmate Love; a pure connection, unadulterated by history, neurosis, baggage, blockage, or regret – certain, joyful, unfettered, knowing. Two souls, dancing together inside the quiet rhythms of the universe.”