“Direct the course of love. For love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.”
~ Gibran Kahlil Gibran
“Are you currently living in an ego based or soul based relationship? The chart below will help you determine to what degree you are currently operating from a soul based perspective or are coming from Ego. Take a moment to read through each section and notice on which side you tend to fall. Be honest with yourself in this test, so that you know if your response is truly coming from ego or one from the heart and soul. You may want to take notes as to which sections you tend to lean towards and operate from in order to make the shift into a full soul based connection.
| Ego Based | Soul Based |
|
Focused on what you are not getting.
|
Focused on what you are receiving from your partner. |
| Feeling desperate, lacking love or needy for love. | Feel completely loved no matter what your partner says or does. |
| Seeking approval from your mate. | You approve of yourself and that is enough. |
| Deep sense of insecurity. | Feel whole and secure because you love yourself. |
| Jealous of your mate spending time with others. | Encourage your mate to spend time with others. |
| Critical of yourself and your mate. | You are able to see the beauty and Divine in yourself and your partner. |
| You are blaming your partner for something that happened in the past, or could happen in the future. | You are focused on the beauty of relating to your partner in the “now”. |
| Long list of expectations that must be met for you to feel okay. | Clearly setting your desired outcomes in the relationship and letting go of any attachment to them occurring. |
“You have to remember that freedom is the highest value,
and if love is not giving you freedom then it is not love.” ~Osho
and if love is not giving you freedom then it is not love.” ~Osho
The biggest difference between a soul based and ego based relationship is your ability to surrender and let go. When you are relating to your partner on a soul level, you deeply realize that everything that happens is perfect in its own way. You start to recognize the beauty of what happens in your relationship even if it is different from your original expectations. When you surrender completely to what is, you allow the real beauty of the relationship to blossom and fragrance to be enjoyed. You experience many spontaneous moments of love and laughter that happen all on their own accord.
In a soul based relationship there is a deep sense of freedom that permeates each moment. Both you and your mate are completely free to be however you wish, and can express your true selves since the ego is no longer calling the shots. In this freedom you have the choice to be with whomever you choose, and yet find yourself constantly drawn to spend quality time with your mate because they bring you deeper and higher into your heart than anyone. In this freedom you never choose to come down on your mate for any reason whatsoever, but rather decide to use words and a tone that lifts them up because you simply want to see them shine brighter than ever before.
One of the most amazing things about living in a soul based relationship is that your focus naturally flows to loving what is instead of changing what is. It is really that simple. The soul knows and sees the perfection of whatever occurs, and thus it becomes easy to unconditionally love your mate just as they are. Acceptance feels better than criticism for you, so you surround them with appreciation even though a small part of you would like to help or “fix” them. Soul based relationships operate only out of love, and trying to meet certain ego conditions is not authentic unconditional love. True love is so expansive and all-encompassing that no conditions need to be fulfilled.
“To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart. And to sing it to them when they have forgotten.” ~ Anonymous
To love deeply and unconditionally is our divine nature. Notice how you naturally love animals, babies, flowers, the mountains, or the sun. You don’t place any conditions on these things. You don’t expect any love back from them either. This type of love is given freely without the need to change them or expect anything back in return. You would never tell a flower that it had to be purple instead of pink for you to love it. You just love it because it is simply divine as it is. The ego can only give love, acceptance and appreciation if your partner meets certain conditions. Once you move out of this way of operating, you can begin to know what real love is. It’s a love that comes abundantly from the soul, and sees the divine beauty in everything that surrounds you, including your mate.
“You need not worry whether the other loves you in return or not. Never ask for love; love comes, and it comes a thousand-fold. You go on giving and it comes.” ~Osho
Many people believe if they give away their love unconditionally without expecting it back from their mate, they will never experience the blissful feelings of love they so deeply desire. The opposite is true. The more you can give away your love to your partner (and everyone else for that matter), the more love you will receive back from your mate and the entire Universe. This is always true thanks to the laws of attraction. Whatever you give out comes back to you a thousand fold! As others feel the vibration of love, their hearts expand and unconsciously they send the high frequency of love back to you. It’s just something that naturally occurs. So rest assured, when you surrender to love and give unconditionally, you’ll experience the kind of love and respect you have been searching for.”
“Love is the only thing you get more of by giving it away.” ~T. Wilson
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